LEISURE 娛樂閒情
  • 鑽石媒人Mei LingMei Ling[本欄隔周二更新]
  • 廖吳美玲Mei Ling,做為電視真人騷《盛女愛作戰》幕後顧問一夜爆紅,因其經驗豐富,點評中肯直接,且手握優質筍盤無數,被譽為鑽石媒人,備受好評。其創立的香港婚姻介紹所Hong Kong Matchmakers,日接超過3000個查詢。

    Mei Ling曾於紐約婚姻介紹學院就讀,成為美、德註冊婚配師,創立香港婚姻介紹所,有別於其他婚介所,Mei Ling所設門檻很高,專為香港單身高學歷人士作婚姻配對,創辦數年,成功撮合的高層男女不下數百對。

    Mei Ling曾於世界頂級大企業任要職,包括Levi’s美國市務經理、洛杉磯May百貨曼谷總經理、貿發局法蘭克福貿易顧問等。曾獲歐盟市場開拓及業務發展比賽冠軍,成為首位女性及華人獲得此殊榮。亦曾創立自己的時裝生意,在高峰時賣盤。

    著有《How to Find A Husband》。

     

為何香港離婚率如此高? 2013-09-03
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  徐志摩和張幼儀,是現代中國第一對正式簽署離婚協議的夫妻,徐志摩是1920年代著名的現代派詩人,思想前衛,儘管那個年代並無Facebook,他也擁有為數眾多的粉絲和追隨者。倘若他離婚順利,必然成為一時的潮流,可能會引發不少人追隨他的腳步。幸好他的「離婚」是徹底失敗,才沒有威脅到我們的傳統家庭觀念。

 

  80年後,2002年世界上離婚率最高的國家排名榜上,位於前六名的分別是:瑞典、白俄羅斯、芬蘭、盧森堡、澳洲和美國。中國和香港未上榜,華人地區唯一榜上有名的是新加坡,排在第32位。接下來的十年間,歐洲各國努力解決社會問題,並取得相當大的進展,而那些無採取任何行動的,離婚問題變得愈來愈嚴重。

 

  到了2012年,世界各地離婚率排行榜如下:

 

 

  由上圖可見,新加坡從32位攀升至16位;中國初上榜即躍升到17位;而香港,竟成為世界離婚率最高的五個地區之一!!取得這樣的成績真是毫無驕傲可言!香港政府統計處的數據也印證了NationMaster.com所公佈的內容,我們的離婚率維持在25-30%之間,即是每3-4對夫妻就有1對離婚!到底發生了甚麼事?

 

  不妨來看看我們根深蒂固的觀念,及正在香港發生的事實:

 

1、工作第一

 

  不知何時停下來,也不知如何放鬆自己。工作雖是朝九晚五,但沒有人九點才返工,更沒有人五點就放工。時間被工作佔滿,周末也工作,假期也工作,有需要的話,夜晚也工作。家庭惟有退讓,工作第一。

 

2、不懂交流

 

  和家人朋友相聚時,黑莓、iPhone、iPad也不離身。我們慣於通過email、whatsapp、blog、短訊等聯絡感情,不再握筆寫信,也不會聊天。

 

3、教育失敗

 

  不論在學校還是家裏,我們的大學畢業生不識拼寫,英文極糟,普通話也不流利。他們只懂得考取各類證書,人生方向和目標卻一團亂。

 

4、物質至上

 

  事業第一,「成功」皆以金錢多寡為標準。我們崇拜的是物質,視生活作風為社會地位的象徵而非家庭觀念與幸福。

 

5、歧視嚴重

 

  歧視無處不在,不論是財富多寡、身材胖瘦、特別是年齡大小,我們認為自己比他人更優秀,更年輕,更睿智…謙虛是驅使我們不斷聆聽和學習的動力,而非傲慢自負。當停止了聆聽和學習,我們便停滯不前。

 

6、嚴於律人

 

  易怒、喜歡示威、嘶喊、甚至擲蕉,想要的必須要得到,而且咄咄逼人。索取多,而付出少。我們寬以待己,嚴於律人,並已喪失讚美他人的能力,因為我們忙於指謫他人的失誤。

 

  離婚不僅令到家庭破碎,進而會導致社會出現各種問題。我們不妨回到原點,嘗試克服自身的不足,改變自己,也會令生活、甚至社會變得更好。

 

  (按:中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本

 

High Divorce Rate in Hong Kong

 

  The first Chinese couple to have officially filed for divorce in modern China was  Xu Zhimo & Zhang Youyi. Even though there were no Facebook in those days, Xu was a popular poet, widely considered to be contemporary and progressive with plenty of followers. Had his divorce been successful, “divorce” might have become a fad with many more following his footsteps. Fortunately for posterity, it was a miserable failure. Subsequently, “divorce” did not instantly take off to post any threat to our family values . That was in 1922.

 

  Eighty years later, in 2002, the top 6 countries on the World Divorce Rate Chart were: (1) Sweden, (2) Belarus, (3) Finland, (4) Luxembourg, (5) Australia, (6) United States. The only Chinese community on the list was Singapore at # 32. Neither China nor Hong Kong was on the list. For the next decade,  European countries took serious measures to address their social problems and saw significant improvement, whilst countries that didn’t, became much worse.

 

  In 2012 and the World Divorce Rate now looks like this:

 

  

 

  Singapore rose from # 32 to 16, China came from nowhere to # 17, and we, Hong Kong, have taken the # 5th place with the highest divorce rate in the world !!  Not exactly an achievement to be proud of. The HK Census Bureau’s figures agree with the findings from NationMaster.com, in that our divorce rate lies between 25-30% per total marriages, depending on how one calculates. In brief, one divorce out of every 3 or 4 marriages ! What has happened to us?

 

  Let’s look at some basic, fundamental problems that are  common to Hong Kong:

 

1) We have no sense of time -  

 

  We do not know when to stop or how to unwind . We all claim to work nine to five, but nobody really starts at nine and nobody ever leaves at five. Business has a carte blanche, we work weekends, public holidays and evenings if necessary, our families are expected to understand.

 

2) We don’t know how to communicate –

 

  When we are with family and friends, our Blackberry, iPhone, iPads never leave us. We communicate by  gadgets through emails, Whatsapps, blogs, text..We no longer write personal letters and we’ve lost the art to talk.

 

3) Failure of our education system –

 

  Both in school & at home. Our university graduates cannot spell, their English is abysmal and their Putonghua isn’t better. They are forever scrambling for more certificates but they lack direction and set wrong priorities and life goals .

 

4) Too much material indulgence –

 

  Everyone is career driven and “success” is defined by the amount of money one makes. We worship status and their related symbols much more than family values.

 

5) We discriminate  against different nationalities –

 

  The rich and poor, the fat and thin, and above all, we discriminate against age, thinking we are better, younger, smarter than the next guy. Humility is the driving engine which motivates us to learn and listen. Arrogance does the opposite. When we stop learning & listening, we stop growing.

 

6) We are righteous and intolerant -

 

  Easily provoked, we march, yell, throw bananas, what we want we must get. We are belligerent because it’s all about getting, never about giving.  Lenient on ourselves, harsh and critical of others,  we’ve lost the ability to appreciate people’s merits because we are too busy counting their faults.

 

  Divorces lead to broken families which lead to social problems. Let’s start with baby steps: try to overcome one shortcoming this week and together, make a better society for ourselves.

 

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